Your Future Self Will Thank You

Jennifer K. Saber

I hit “end” on the call and let out a deep sigh of relief. It was two days before Yom Kippur, and I had finally gotten around to ordering bagels and schmear for the thirty ravenous people coming to my house to break the fast this year.

As I dialed the number, I was hoping (and maybe even praying) that it wasn’t too late to place my order. I already had a backup plan forming in my head: run to the grocery store right before Yom Kippur begins and grab whatever slightly stale bagels were still left on the shelves.

Thankfully, they took my order.

The problem is, this isn’t an unusual occurrence. Some version of this scenario happens every year.

Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I am a procrastinator.

I know this about myself. My family certainly knows this about me. I have spent years telling myself that I simply “work better under pressure.” And, to be fair, I usually do get everything done.

But lately I’ve started to wonder: At what cost?

Yes, I get things done. But I also create a tremendous amount of unnecessary stress for myself. I put something off, think about the fact that I am putting it off, worry because I haven’t done it yet, and then finally race to finish it.

I’ve known for a while that I need to work on this habit. The irony, of course, is that it is remarkably easy to procrastinate on doing something about your procrastination.

And then, while doing what was probably another form of procrastination- scrolling through Instagram- I came across a random guy in my feed. Unfortunately, I can’t share his name with you because I clearly procrastinated on saving one of his reels, assuming he would eventually pass through my feed again. The irony is not lost on me.

In each short reel, this guy wanders around his house repeating a simple nugget of wisdom over and over. In one, it’s “Don’t put it down. Put it away” as he returns shoes littering the floor to the shoe rack and moves car keys thrown haphazardly on the counter to the hook by the door.

But the reel that really caught my attention was the one where he wandered around his house repeating, “Our future selves will thank us.” He saw dirty dishes stacked in the sink and loaded them into the dishwasher rather than leaving them for later.

Such a simple idea. But for a procrastinator like me, it stuck. How many times do I leave something for later, assuming that some future version of me will have more time, more energy, or more motivation to deal with it?

Except future Jennifer is still Jennifer.

Every time I procrastinate, I am simply handing something to her- usually with less time, more pressure, and considerably more stress.

Lately, I’ve started thinking that maybe I need to be a little kinder to my future self. Taking care of something today isn’t only about checking an item off my to-do list. Sometimes it is a small act of kindness toward the person I will be tomorrow.

All of this reminded me of a teaching from Pirkei Avot 4:1….“Who is wise? One who learns from every person.” I love that the wise person isn’t described as the person who knows everything. Wisdom comes from being willing to learn from others- from the people we expect to teach us and sometimes from the people we don’t.

Apparently, in my case, “every person” includes a random guy on Instagram whose name I don’t even know.

And with Yom Kippur approaching, I’ve started thinking about my “future self” in a much bigger way.

Yom Kippur gives us an opportunity to look back honestly at the year we’ve just lived- our choices, our relationships, the places where we missed the mark- and to consider what we want to do differently. That is part of the work of teshuvah, of return.

But we don’t look backward simply for the sake of looking backward. We look back so that we can move forward differently. I’m thinking about more than the future Jennifer who would appreciate having the bagels ordered a week earlier. I’m thinking about the person I want to become.

What changes have I been meaning to make but keep putting off? Is there a conversation I know I need to have? Someone I need to call? An apology I need to make? A relationship that deserves more of my attention? Something I keep telling myself I will start (or stop) “someday”?

I’m beginning to realize that procrastination isn’t always about an unfinished item on a to-do list. Sometimes we procrastinate on change. I am certainly not entering Yom Kippur as a reformed procrastinator. Just ask my family- or the person who took my bagel order. I’m still working on it.

And perhaps that is part of the point. Teshuvah isn’t about arriving at Yom Kippur as a finished product. It asks us to be honest enough to recognize where change is needed and then to begin the work of changing.

Ben Zoma reminds us that wisdom can come from every person. This year, one small piece of wisdom happened to find me while I was scrolling through Instagram: Our future selves will thank us.

So as I enter Yom Kippur, I’m going to try to do just that. I’m going to ask myself:

What can I do today that my future self will thank me for?

And as you enter Yom Kippur, I invite you to ask yourself: What is one change you’ve been putting off and what is one small step you can take today to begin?

P.S. An update, hours after finishing this blog: While doomscrolling-yes, procrastinating once again-I FOUND THE GUY! Check out @dobetterjonathan on Instagram, a self-described clueless dad trying to learn to clean, carry the mental load, and do better.

Future Jennifer is very grateful.

Jennifer Saber is the Manager of Community Engagement and Partnerships for Chai Mitzvah. To continue the conversation about the theme of Wisdom/Chochma, join Chai Mitzvah’s virtual session on Tuesday, October 6 at 7:30pm Eastern Time for “Virtual Mussar – Topic: Wisdom/Chochma”.  Register here.