Discovering Freedom

by Kendra Walz

A week before Passover, I was sitting at my dining room table with a whiteboard, writing down a grocery list. I had some ideas for new recipes this year – I had just gotten a pink crockpot as a Hanukkah gift at the end of last year and wanted to slow cook a brisket in it. I just couldn’t decide if I wanted to make a classic red wine brisket or try a new recipe that involves Coca-Cola. I wrote down ingredients for a carrot ribbon salad and matzah smashburgers. I asked my partner if he had any creative ideas for what we could make during Passover.

He paused for a minute, thinking, then looked at me and enthusiastically said: “Salmon and rice!” (He is Sephardic.)

“Are you kidding me?” I responded. “That’s not creative. I said creative. You have that all the time. That’s the only thing your family eats all year long. And I don’t eat rice on Passover, anyway.”

My favorite thing about Passover is experimenting with unique recipes that I probably won’t be eating at any point for the rest of the year. The past two years, I have tried (and failed) to make matzah bourekas. Last year, I made a pretty good matzah lasagna. I didn’t even get around to all of the ideas I had this year. However, when it comes to Passover, not everyone is excited about the food, understandably.

The most fundamental reason for eating matzah during Passover is that the Jews left Egypt so fast that the bread didn’t have time to rise, so we mark the holiday by only consuming unleavened bread. Lots of Jews refrain from eating many types of grains, including corn and rice. Some Jews will even avoid eating peanuts and beans during Passover. They may handle the holiday one of two ways: they get extra creative in the kitchen all week long, or they eat very minimally all week long.

For me, the creativity in cooking is an important part of the holiday. In the Passover story, it wasn’t like every single Hebrew was jumping for joy at the thought of leaving Egypt. Some were scared. Some actually wanted to stay in Egypt-it was all they knew, and braving the desert to walk to some unknown land seemed scary and dangerous. How would they survive? What would this newfound independence mean for them? I am reminded of this when I encounter someone who is not as thrilled about eating matzah for a week straight as I am. As a half-Italian girl, of course, I feel a pang in my chest at the thought of giving up pasta and bread for a week, and my Sephardic boyfriend tries to tempt me by adding rice to my recipes.

Sometimes, in order to experience personal growth and newfound freedom, one will inevitably sacrifice something comfortable. Removing yourself from a stable, daily ritual such as eating bread and grains can be jarring. Not everyone wants to do it. Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and challenging your mind to be resourceful is a form of discovering freedom.

Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and challenging your mind to be resourceful is a form of discovering freedom.

Every Passover, when one daily comfort is temporarily removed and we are reminded of a period of suffering, new items can be created, and we can discover new things about ourselves. We lift ourselves away from dependence on small pleasures we take for granted and create new ones with what we have. Passover marks the time in ancient history when the Jews were created; it only makes sense to celebrate the holiday with the tradition of new creations. This is a practice we constantly carry with us. We have our daily, weekly, and yearly traditions we like to count on and look forward to, but we inevitably face crossroads and tough decisions that often boil down to a question of should we leave or should we stay. There is almost always a decision we can make that feels comfier and safer. At the beginning of this year, in January, I had a great part-time job in a university dean’s office. There were several girls there my age and we had a blast every day. Then I was unexpectedly offered a new job; full-time with much more responsibility and absolutely no familiar faces. It was difficult and emotional to leave the comfort of the environment I knew, but now I am blessed with a wonderful opportunity that challenges my mind and introduces me to new friends (and pays a lot more!)

As we close the door on Passover, we make challah shaped like keys to symbolize unlocking a new future full of uncertainty and opportunity. It may be scary, but it can also be exciting. May each new day bring the thrill and freshness of having just escaped Egypt, and may we carry every lesson and blessing we receive every year on our life’s journey. Next year in Jerusalem.