Falling Down Isn’t Failing

by Jennifer Saber 

I was so excited! It had been ten years since I’d had my own Hebrew school classroom. After years of serving as a principal, I decided it was time to return to the front lines of Jewish education. With more than twenty-five years of experience, I’d taught hundreds of students and managed more classrooms than I could count. I figured I might be a little rusty, but surely I knew what I was doing. There were only five third graders. Five! How difficult could it possibly be?

Apparently, very difficult. My biggest challenge? One student spent much of the class repeatedly saying “poop.” Yes, poop. Over and over again. “My name is poop!” “Mrs. Saber, do you smell like poop?” Poop. Poop. Poop. I’d prepared my lesson, brought my materials, and arrived with decades of teaching experience. None of that seemed particularly helpful. By the end of the hour, I was exhausted, frustrated, and ready to wave the white flag.

When I told my daughter about my disastrous first day, she asked, “Mom, you aren’t going to let these five kids break you?” She had a point. Here I was, with decades of teaching experience, getting a lesson in resilience from my own daughter. Her words reminded me of a teaching from Proverbs:

“A righteous person falls seven times and gets up.” – Proverbs 24:16

The Hebrew word tzadik means a righteous person. The verse doesn’t say that a successful or powerful person falls seven times. It says a righteous person. And yet, this person falls repeatedly. In Jewish tradition, seven often represents completeness. Perhaps the verse reminds us that even good people encounter challenges again and again. Interestingly, the preceding verse warns against those who threaten the righteous. Falling isn’t necessarily the result of a mistake. Sometimes adversity comes from circumstances beyond our control.

Falling isn’t always failing. We celebrate successes, from good grades and athletic victories to professional accomplishments. But what happens when we’ve prepared carefully, brought years of experience to the table, and still find ourselves overwhelmed by five third graders? Proverbs doesn’t promise that the righteous person will eventually win. It simply says the person rises. Sometimes that means trying again, changing our approach, asking for help, or listening when someone reminds us what we’re capable of.

As parents, grandparents, and educators, we spend considerable time thinking about what we want to teach the next generation … Leadership isn’t always about having the answers or being in charge. Sometimes it’s about helping someone else find the confidence to take the next step.

As parents, grandparents, and educators, we spend considerable time thinking about what we want to teach the next generation. We share experiences, offer advice, and hope some of our wisdom sticks. But sometimes the roles reverse. My daughter didn’t offer classroom management strategies or suggest a new lesson plan. She simply reminded me not to let one difficult experience define me.  

Perhaps that’s a form of leadership we don’t discuss enough. Leadership isn’t always about having the answers or being in charge. Sometimes it’s about helping someone else find the confidence to take the next step. And sometimes the leader is the youngest person in the conversation.

In Chai Mitzvah’s Grandparents and Beyond curriculum, the leadership lesson invites participants to reflect on times they demonstrated courage, admitted they were wrong, or stood up for something they believed in. These aren’t necessarily stories about titles or accomplishments. They’re about choices and character. What about the stories we share across generations? Do we talk about the times we struggled, questioned our decisions, or needed help? When we share only our successes, do we unintentionally suggest that a meaningful life is one without setbacks?

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can offer younger generations is the understanding that we haven’t always had the answers. Even after decades of experience, we’re still learning. And sometimes they’re the ones teaching us.

As for me, I’m still working on getting those five students to focus on Hebrew rather than bodily functions. But I’ve been reminded that resilience doesn’t come with an age requirement, and leadership doesn’t always flow from older to younger.

A question for you: When was the last time someone from a younger generation taught you an unexpected lesson about resilience or leadership?

Jennifer Saber is the Manager of Community Engagement and Partnerships for Chai Mitzvah.

To continue the conversation about the theme of Leadership, join Chai Mitzvah’s virtual session on Tuesday, October 20 at 7:30pm Eastern Time for “GRANDparents Circle – Grownup Conversations Together & Intergenerational Fun to Take Home”.  Register here. 

 

2 responses to “Falling Down Isn’t Failing”

1. Audrey Lichter says:

   October 21, 2026 at 10:39 am

   Thanks Jennifer…. great question to think about. I learn all the time from my grandchildren….. I think that is their magic.

   Reply
2. Barbara Wolinsky says:

   October 21, 2026 at 11:02 am

   Thanks Jennifer
   I hope my children and grandchildren learn from me.
   I know I learn from them.

   Reply